How to have healthy conflict

I’ve seen firsthand how managing conflict can make or break a team’s performance.

Conflict management is crucial for developing a high-performing team. It’s non-negotiable.

What happens when you sweep conflict under the rug? Tension builds.

And when you tackle conflict head-on? Your team can get back to crushing their goals.

There are two types of conflict:

1. Destructive conflict: This is the ego-driven, anger-fueled, win-at-all-costs kind of conflict. It’s toxic and needs to be addressed immediately.

2. Productive conflict: This is where the magic happens. It’s when your team feels safe enough to engage in an unfiltered, constructive debate of ideas.

I’ve seen plenty of leaders who shy away from productive conflict even if it will resolve key issues on their team.

They get antsy when discussions heat up or when team members start debating ideas. I often hear them say things like, “This debate is going nowhere. I’m out of here.”

If you want your team’s buy-in, accountability, and commitment, try this response instead: “This is great. This debate you’re having is exactly what we need to get better results.”

So, don’t run from a healthy debate. Lean into it. Let it unfold.

Here are three strategies to facilitate productive conflict on your team:

1. Keep it about the work, not the person: Avoid personal attacks. Focus on critiquing ideas, not individuals. Give balanced feedback—what works, what doesn’t, and what you can do to address what is not working.

2. Give everyone a chance to speak: High-performing teams thrive when every voice is heard. In your next meeting, try giving each team member 3-5 minutes to share their thoughts. You might be surprised by the insights from your quieter team members.

3. Listen first, speak second: This gem comes from Stephen Covey’s book called The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. It’s about truly listening to understand, not just to respond. You don’t have to agree with everything, but you do need to make others feel heard.

Your job as a leader isn’t to eliminate conflict.

Conflict isn’t inherently bad.

Instead, open your mind to different perspectives. Create space for your team to be heard.

This is how you build a team that’s not just high-performing but also committed and accountable.