The Surprising Truth About Building Trust at Work
What’s the single most powerful action your team members can take to earn your trust?
Is it consistently meeting deadlines? Delivering exceptional results? Going beyond expectations?
If you answered yes to any of these, you’re in good company, but according to research Brene Brown conducted for the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, you’d also be missing the most crucial trust-building behaviour of all.
When Brene Brown surveyed thousands of leaders at the Gates Foundation, their number one response to what makes them trust their direct reports more wasn’t performance-related at all.
It was asking for help.
At first glance, this might seem counterintuitive.
Many of us have been conditioned to believe that showing vulnerability or uncertainty is a sign of weakness, especially in professional settings.
We worry that asking for help signals incompetence or inability to handle our responsibilities.
But the research reveals the opposite is true.
Why Asking for Help Builds Trust
Think about what happens when someone doesn’t ask for help:
- Their work quality suffers
- Problems escalate unnecessarily
- Deadlines get missed
- They become increasingly stressed
When someone asks for help, they’re actually demonstrating they:
- Care deeply about getting it right
- Are self-aware enough to recognize their limitations
- Trust you enough to be vulnerable
- Value the team’s success over personal ego
Creating a Help-Friendly Environment
As a leader, you can foster this trust-building behaviour by:
- Modelling it yourself – Openly ask for input and support from your team
- Responding positively – Thank people explicitly when they reach out for assistance
- Making it routine – Build check-ins where asking questions is normalized
- Celebrating collaboration – Recognize when asking for help leads to better outcomes
The next time someone on your team asks for your help, recognize it as a sign of their commitment, not their weakness.
Take a moment to recognize and appreciate their courage by responding in a way that reinforces this trust-building behaviour.
Something like: “Thank you for asking. It shows me how much you care about getting this right.”
Now that’s good leadership!
