The Power of Curiosity in Leadership

One of my coaching clients, let’s call her Rachel, came to a group workshop with a story that left everyone in the room in tears!

Here’s what happened.

Rachel had a team member who was not meeting her expectations. He was really starting to frustrate her. She assigned him a project and he was falling behind, making mistakes and missing deadlines.

A lot of leaders in Rachel’s position might have put this person on a performance improvement plan or totally written him off and assumed the worst.

But I challenged Rachel to take a different approach.

I challenged her to stop judging him and jumping to conclusions. Rather, I suggested that she approach him with curiosity.

She did just that! So, instead of assuming the worst, she approached him with an open mind and a key question.

She simply asked him, “What is holding you back and how can I help?”

What he shared stopped her cold.

You see, he told Rachel that he has a traumatic brain injury. This means that staring at a bright screen for extended periods causes him severe headaches.

He wasn’t missing deadlines because he was lazy, disengaged or unreliable. He was struggling with something real and he hadn’t felt safe enough to say so until Rachel created the space for him to do it.

With this knowledge in hand, Rachel was then able to put some key accommodations in place. They were simple but they made a world of difference for that person.

This all started because she chose curiosity over judgment.

Why Curiosity Is a Critical Leadership Skill

As leaders, we make up stories about other people all the time.

• Someone misses a deadline, and we think: “They don’t care.”
• Someone goes quiet in a meeting, and we think: “They are not engaged.”
• Someone pushes back on a decision, and we think: “They are being difficult.”

But what if the story you are telling yourself is wrong?

One thing I’ve learned after more than two decades of coaching leaders is that you never know the full picture of what someone else is dealing with.

Life is complicated and people carry trauma and difficult situations that you may not know about.

Curiosity is what bridges that gap.

When you stay curious, you ask before you assume, you listen before you conclude and you create an environment where people feel safe enough to tell you the truth.

When people feel safe, they do their best work.

That’s not just good leadership, that’s good for business.

How to Practice Curiosity as a Leader

Staying curious doesn’t mean you avoid accountability. It means you lead with questions before you lead with conclusions.

Here are a few simple ways to build more curiosity into your leadership practice:

• Ask open-ended questions. Instead of “Why isn’t this done?” try “What’s getting in the way for you right now?” The shift in tone opens the door rather than closing it.
• Pause before you assume. When something frustrates you, notice the story you’re telling yourself about why it happened. Then ask yourself: what else could be true?
• Create safety for honest conversations. People will only share what’s really going on if they trust it won’t be used against them. The more consistently you respond with empathy, the more information you’ll actually get.

Rachel’s story is one I’ll never forget because it was such a clear example of what’s possible when a leader chooses to ask instead of assume.

What would change on your team if you led with a little more curiosity?

Thank you for sharing!

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