Why Great Leaders Don’t Always Win a Popularity Vote

I want to share something a little personal with you today.

A few years ago, I received two pieces of feedback from the same leadership program. Same content. Same facilitator. Very different reactions.

The first person wrote: “I really enjoy Vanessa’s enthusiastic nature. The course has really made me think about formal methods of leadership.”

The second person wrote something very different. They said my enthusiasm was actually intimidating and made some participants less likely to speak up.

Same program, yet two completely opposite experiences of the same person.

And you know what? That feedback taught me something I carry with me to this day.

Leadership is not a popularity contest.

I know some people will find my style energizing. I also know that some people won’t connect with it at all. And I’m genuinely okay with both of those things.

My job is not to be liked by everyone in the room. My job is to develop great leaders who get great results. That’s it.

And the same is true for you.

As a leader, you will make decisions that not everyone agrees with. You’ll give feedback that doesn’t always land well. You’ll implement changes, restructure teams, or have hard conversations that some people won’t appreciate.

That’s just part of the job.

If leadership is not about being popular, what is it actually about?

1. Showing up as yourself. Authenticity builds trust over time, even when it makes some people uncomfortable in the moment.
2. Being true to your values. When people know what you stand for, they know what to expect from you. That consistency matters.
3. Making the hard calls. Avoiding difficult decisions doesn’t protect your team. It just delays the fallout and erodes your credibility.
4. Building relationships based on respect. Up, down, and across your organization. You don’t have to be everyone’s favourite person, but you do have to treat people with dignity.
5. Leaning into healthy conflict. The best teams have real conversations, not just polite ones. Your willingness to engage in those conversations sets the tone.

Now, that doesn’t mean feedback doesn’t matter, because it absolutely does.

When I got that piece of feedback about my intensity, I didn’t dismiss it. I thought about it. I started paying more attention to reading the room and adjusting my energy when needed to be more effective.

There’s a difference between adapting your approach to achieve better results and changing who you are to avoid conflict or criticism.

One is good leadership, while the other will exhaust you and confuse your team.

At the end of the day, your job is to bring your best self to work, hold the line on your values, and focus on the results you need to achieve.

The rest will take care of itself.

Are you spending too much time worrying about whether your team likes you? Or are you focused on what really matters?

Thank you for sharing!

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