5 Steps to Build Your Confidence

You may think that experienced leaders feel confident all the time.

Believe me, they do not!

Every day I chat with leaders.

Each one of them lacks confidence about something.

It may be a new skill they need to learn, an uncomfortable situation that they need to address or a relationship that is not going well.

For us humans, confidence is not a constant.

It is a state of mind that comes and goes, depending on the situation.

So, please do not worry when you are feeling a lack of confidence in any situation.

Rather, remind yourself that you are human and this feeling is normal.

Confidence is something you build slowly through small actions that create evidence you are on the right path.

I recently spoke to a leader who wants to build his confidence and executive presence while transitioning into a more senior position. This leader knows his business inside out and is highly technical and capable.

But his new role includes expanded responsibilities and new skills (like being more strategic) that he needs to learn.

He was ashamed that he didn’t feel confident moving into this much more complex role.

I had to give him a reality check!

I had to remind him that he is being too hard on himself and that he needs to give himself grace as he develops into his new role.

This development process takes time and requires baby steps.

5 Steps to Build Your Confidence

So, the next time you are not feeling confident about something, here are 5 ways to slowly build your confidence:

1. Prepare more than you think you need to.

Preparation is the key to feeling more confident. The more you prepare, the more evidence you will gather that you can accomplish your goal.  Plan for your meetings, study your notes, review your presentation and double-check that document so you know it clearly represents your thinking or analysis.

2. Stop pretending you have all the answers.

Confidence isn’t knowing everything. It’s being comfortable enough with yourself to admit when you don’t. When you don’t know the answer to a question, how about saying, “Good question. Let me do some research and get back to you.”

3. Challenge your inner critic.

When your mind tells you, “I’m not good enough,” write it down. Then write down what is actually true. Your thoughts are not facts. Start noticing the negative self-talk that keeps you feeling small. Then find an alternative statement that you can use that will build you up.

4. Take care of yourself

Please be kind to yourself. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, are eating well and exercising. Get dressed in a way that makes you feel good. These may sound like small things, but how you feel about yourself affects how you show up.

5. Keep one small promise to yourself every day.

Set a small goal for yourself each day and commit to that goal. Prove to yourself that you can do it.  Maybe you need to get organized, follow through more, speak up in a meeting or send that email you’ve been putting off. Small wins build self-trust and self-trust is the foundation of confidence.

Your confidence is built through evidence.

That’s how confidence grows.

It is not built overnight or through one big transformation.

Rather, it is built through small steps that are repeated over time until you start to believe: “I can do this. I belong here. I trust myself.”

What is a current situation in which you lack confidence?

Which of the 5 steps to build your confidence can you implement today?

Thank you for sharing!

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