What Feels Hard Today Can Feel Easy Tomorrow
A few weeks ago, I was coaching Jason, a highly capable leader who was feeling frustrated.
He told me, “I’m not getting through to my senior stakeholders. My ideas are solid but I’m not resonating with them.”
As we dug deeper, he realized something important.
The challenge wasn’t his expertise or the quality of his ideas.
The challenge was that he was communicating the way he likes to receive information, not the way his audience likes to receive it.
Jason is thoughtful, analytical and collaborative. He likes logic, facts and careful consideration before making a decision.
The executives he was presenting to had the opposite workstyle.
Many of them want the headline first. They value people who present with confidence. They are looking for a recommendation and value people who can cut through the noise and get to the point quickly.
Jason said, “Being more direct and assertive goes against my natural wiring. It feels hard.”
I smiled because I hear this all the time.
Leaders often assume that because something feels uncomfortable, it must be wrong or inauthentic.
But that’s not true.
Why Uncomfortable Doesn’t Mean Wrong
Think about riding a bike.
The first time you got on one, it probably felt awkward. You probably had to think about balancing, steering, pedaling and braking all at the same time.
Now you can probably ride a bike without thinking about any of those things.
The same is true for driving a car, learning a new technology, speaking in public or most skills that we learn.
What was once difficult becomes easy through practice.
Leadership Skills Are Learnable, Not Innate
Leadership skills are no different.
Your ability to speak with confidence, influence senior stakeholders, manage difficult conversations, delegate effectively or coach your team are all skills that you can learn.
None of these skills is reserved for a lucky few leaders.
They are learnable for everyone.
The leaders who excel aren’t necessarily the ones who were born with these abilities. They’re often the ones who are willing to feel uncomfortable long enough to develop them.
By the end of our conversation, Jason had a different perspective.
Instead of saying, “This isn’t who I am,” he started saying, “This is a skill I can learn.”
That’s a powerful shift.
When you stop seeing leadership as a personality trait and start seeing it as a set of skills, your growth becomes possible.
And three months from now, the thing that feels hard today may feel completely natural.
Introducing The Lead Your People Program
That’s exactly why I created The Lead Your People Program.
Over six practical modules, you can learn core leadership skills in order to lead with greater confidence.
The goal isn’t to change who you are.
The goal is to expand your leadership toolkit so you can be effective with all kinds of people and situations.
If there is a leadership skill that feels hard right now, imagine where you could be three months from today.
What feels difficult now could soon become second nature.
And that’s when leadership gets a whole lot easier.
Registration is now open for The Lead Your People Program. If you’re ready to develop leadership skills that feel challenging today but could become strengths tomorrow, I’d love to have you join us.
I hope to see you on September 8th.
Here are very kind words from Sarah, a recent graduate of the program:
It is rare to encounter a professional of Vanessa’s calibre. I had the privilege of learning from her in The Lead Your People Program. She consistently demonstrated an exceptional ability to distill complex material into clear, accessible and engaging content. I greatly valued our sessions and those insightful and intellectually stimulating mornings. In the program, I learned so many practical skills that I use every day.
Sarah Amarshi, Real Estate Broker
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