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Do you avoid giving feedback?

Welcome to week 5 of my 3-month series called:

TAKE YOUR LEADERSHIP TO THE NEXT LEVEL: Learn the 3-pillars of leadership success.

In September, we are exploring pillar 2: Manage Your Team.

Today we are going to address an important topic…feedback.

Let’s start this conversation by addressing why 90% of leaders avoid giving constructive feedback.

During a recent group workshop that I facilitated, I asked the participants to provide me with a reason why they avoid giving feedback. 

Their list included the following 10 reasons:

  • I don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings.
  • They may not like me if I give them feedback.
  • I don’t want this to become a personal battle.
  • I’m scared.
  • I don’t know how I will react if they freak out.
  • I feel uncomfortable.
  • I don’t know how to respond if they cry.
  • The issue will go away on its own.
  • I don’t know how to give the feedback properly or say it correctly.
  • I don’t like conflict, so it feels safer to ignore the behavior.

Have you ever avoided feedback by using one of these excuses? 

Well, today is the day to shift your approach.

No more excuses, please!


Well, if you avoid giving feedback, your team member’s behavior will never change.  

It is your job to give feedbackSo, instead of avoiding feedback, remind yourself that it is your job as a leader to give feedback so that you can help your team members to grow and develop. 

Without you giving constructive feedback, your team will never learn and improve.

Here are three key things you need to remember about giving constructive feedback.

  1. Don’t avoid the feedback. When you avoid giving feedback, you increase the conflict in your relationships, not decrease it. Yes, it takes courage to provide feedback, but you will feel relieved knowing that you have helped someone to grow and develop.
  2. Give feedback without judgment. Don’t get caught up in your judgment of the person. For example, if you think they are being “ineffective,” think about the behavior they are demonstrating that makes them “ineffective.” This assessment could include “too many errors in their work” or “being late for meetings,” for example. 
  3. Focus on facts, not feelings: You must prepare when giving feedback. Preparation will allow you to remove your emotions from the conversation. It is irrelevant if their behavior is causing you to feel angry or frustrated. What’s important is how their behavior is impacting their development and performance. Keep the tone of the conversation light and neutral. 

The key when giving feedback is to be objective and not judgemental.

Focus on the specific behavior.

Be clear.

Be concise.

Give the feedback right away.

So, do you tend to avoid giving feedback?

Reach out any time at and learn how I help you to give feedback properly.

Vanessa Judelman

Vanessa Judelman is an author, coach, and sought-after leadership expert. Over the past 20 years, she has created a proven formula to develop results-oriented leaders who feel empowered and confident in their job. Vanessa is the author of Mastering Leadership: What It Takes to Lead in Today’s Fast-Paced World. Order your copy here.

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