Feedback: Don’t Dodge It

Let’s talk about something we all often dodge: feedback.

Yep, that one little word can make even the most senior leader run for the hills!

I recently ran a workshop where I asked leaders why they tend to shy away from giving constructive feedback.

Their responses were eye-opening.

They said they avoid feedback because:

• I don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings.
• What if they end up disliking me?
• I’m worried it’ll turn into a personal battle.
• Honestly…I’m scared.
• I have no idea how to handle the situation if they freak out.
• It just feels uncomfortable.
• What if they start crying? Then what?
• Maybe the problem will just disappear?
• I’m not sure I know the right words to use.
• Conflict? No thanks. I’d rather pretend everything’s fine.

Ring any bells? I bet at least one of these has crossed your mind before.

But here’s the deal: it’s time to flip the script on feedback. No more excuses, okay?

Why? Because without feedback, nothing changes. It’s that simple.

Remember, as a leader, giving feedback isn’t just part of your job – it’s how you help your team grow. Without it, they’re stuck in a loop, never improving or developing.

So, let’s break it down.
Here are three key things to keep in mind when giving constructive feedback:

1. Face it head-on:  Avoiding feedback? That’s just asking for more conflict down the road. By not providing feedback, you’re ultimately hurting that person because you know how they can improve, and you’re choosing to withhold that information. Sure, it takes courage to speak up, but trust me, you’ll feel so much better knowing you’ve helped someone to improve.
2. Drop the judgment:  Don’t get caught up in personal judgments or labeling someone as “ineffective.” Instead, focus on specific behaviours. Is their work full of errors? Are they always late to meetings? It is the specifics that you need to address. Let’s put the “constructive” back into “constructive feedback.”
3. Stick to the facts: Preparation is key. Knowing what you’re going to say helps to keep emotions in check and limits any negative feelings towards their behaviour. What matters is how their performance is affecting their work and growth. Keep things light and neutral.

So, what is the golden rule for delivering feedback well? Be objective, not judgmental.

Zero in on the specific behaviour, be crystal clear, keep your feedback short and sweet, and remember to always give feedback right away!

Feedback is about helping people become better. So take a deep breath, and go have that conversation. Your team will thank you for it in the long run!