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How to develop emotional intelligence

In his book Emotional Intelligence, author Daniel Goleman said:

“Emotional intelligence predicts leadership performance better than IQ or personality traits alone.“

Goleman wrote his book over twenty years ago, and since then, I have seen this fact repeatedly demonstrated.

Recently, one of my clients, let’s call her Mandy, told me a story that demonstrated so much emotional intelligence.

Mandy explained that while she seeks and appreciates feedback now, she did not respond well to feedback a few years ago.

I love that Mandy was so willing to be vulnerable and admit to her shortcomings. This is such an endearing quality of hers.

In fact, she admitted that she started her leadership journey filled with attitude, pride, and defensiveness.

Mandy explained that when she used to get feedback, she felt like her boss was picking on her, and she would feel angry and embarrassed.

I was so proud of her for admitting this. It illustrated so much introspection and growth.

I told Mandy that by sharing this example, she demonstrated a great deal of emotional intelligence.

The foundations of emotional intelligence include self-awareness and emotional balance.

Her comment was so self-aware.

I love that she was able to identify her weaknesses and really work hard at changing her mindset.

Her comment demonstrated a great deal of emotional balance.

This quality allows you to remain clear-headed and calm, especially under pressure. She learned that being defensive negatively impacted her relationships. So, she chose to manage her emotional impulses more thoughtfully to build high-trust relationships across the business.

So, if you are looking for an item to add to your development plan, I highly suggest including “emotional intelligence.”

Mandy is a perfect example of how self-awareness and emotional balance can be leveraged to build strong work relationships.

What can you do to develop your emotional intelligence muscle?

Vanessa Judelman

Vanessa Judelman is an author, coach, and sought-after leadership expert. Over the past 20 years, she has created a proven formula to develop results-oriented leaders who feel empowered and confident in their job. Vanessa is the author of Mastering Leadership: What It Takes to Lead in Today’s Fast-Paced World. Order your copy here.

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